Black sickness

Let's talk about jealousy. In english that can mean both being possessive about your partner and feeling envy. In Swedish those two meanings is separated into two words. When you feel envy you feel "avundsjuka" and when you are possessive and jealous about your partner it's called "svartsjuka". Svartsjuka is two words put together, "svart" means black and "sjuka" means sickness. Black sickness. I think that is a terrific word because that is exactly what it is. A black sickness that gnaws on your soul, consuming you slowly. I have seen so much jealousy and it makes me feel ill when I see someone that lives with a partner that are jealous. I do think that a certain amount of jealousy is natural and we all feel it sometimes. It's when the jealousy starts to control your or your partners life, it's then it becomes a sickness. As long as you can control your partner with prohibitions and restrictions it will all be fine. As long as he/she gives you all the attention it will be fine. But seriously, is that the kind of life anyone wants to live? Some day your partner will wake up and realize what it is you are doing and try to break free. No one, and I mean NO ONE, wants to live a life where they only can be friends with the persons you approved because they mean no threat to you and the bubble you live in. No one wants to wake up one day and realize that the only friends they have left is YOUR friends. That the only family they have left is YOUR family. 

I have also heard lots of excuses from friends why their partner is jealous. It's pretty common actually to excuse the jealous spose (because they know deep inside that it's wrong maybe?). The most common excuse of them all is the "He/she was with a partner that cheated on them. Thats why they are jealous." Really? So your new partner is exactly like your ex? No? Well then why treat them like they were then? It's YOUR insecurity that creates the jealousy and you should get help for that if it affects the life of you and/or your partner. I lived with an extremely jealous man. He followed me, looked through my stuff and such to find evidence of me cheating on him. He couldn't because I wasn't. But when you all the time get questioned and not believed when you tell the truth you will eventually start to think that you might as well cheat on them because they believe you do anyway. I know because I've been there. No, I didn't do it but it was close. I also have an ex that cheated on me with one of my friends. I still cannot and will not allow myself to live in jealousy. If a partner is acting weird I ask him what's up. I must try to trust him. After all, isn't that what a relationship is all about? Trust.

So if you are the person that suffer from black sickness, think it through because you can't control your partner forever. Your little bubble are bound to burst. Maybe not tomorrow or even in a year, but burst it will.
If you are the person that have a partner that is black sick. Please wake up and if you cannot convince her/him that you are honest, just walk away. It will make you feel better. I promise.